=(

i cried ytd. Its been ages since i cry...i mean, cry for myself...not for tv shows. I tried my best to control but tears jus roll down uncontrollably. I dun cry. Infact, to see me crying is a rare scene.

im very sad, disappointed and angry.

i dunno why.

maybe cos when i recall the past events, i feel that im so pathetic. i lead a sad life. i felt being made use of.

Though its not being made use of, but the actions makes out the feeling of being made use. Dun ask me why. Its jus feelings. The actions done which makes u feel. Feelings of not wanted. Feelings of unappreciated. Feelings of not being treasured. Feelings of being taken granted for. And why am i so silly enuff to have even walk it through and felt it all. Finding reasons to defend when i cant even convince myself that all that is true. Im silly and stupid

why must i endure all this? i duno understand. I believe that im consider a very nice gal to have done all that. ALL OF THAT. My patience, My time, My effort, My feelings, My emotions but i dun get anything. Not even thankyou. Though the thankyou did came. but its very late. The demage has has already been done. Dun eva say all these appreciation stuff need not be said out and can be kept in the heart. As long as u felt appreciate, the other party will know. NO okie. noo..its really a big nono...i wanna stop guessing. guessing that im appreciated. im cherished. thinking that im being treasured. Its all thinking and guessing..but the ans is not there... and it must not be asked. Cos if its asked directly, the meaning is not there anymore. Sometimes, actions shows it all. And one's effort can be seen.

I hate myself for being soft.

The special list is strike off... No more help

And i will control my tears.
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Now for some happy events:

Mum's birthday on Tues...i think im very sweet okie...dun laugh..i bake brownie and sew a pouch to contain my little presents for her...=P...

It takes my an hour to finish baking and making the brownie okie..wah lau eh..it was realy mafan...cos at one moment when im starting, my grandma reminded me to buy butter... and when im pouring the mixture into the tray she ask me why i nv gease the tray...so i had to pour everythign back to the mixing bowl again. ZZZZZ....very kelian leh...


the table full of foooods =D


i bake de okiee!! Hee


i loveeee almond jelllly *SLURP*


this cost $18 okie...mai siaosiao.


Seee the pretty little pouch? hohoho....and the card cost $6.90...Dun playplay...represent daddy one lehh..


Ohhh i loves sunflower =D


Only one pic of mum..Cos she nv chg into a more presentable clothes and doesnt wan to take pictures..LOL!

And after busy doing and finishing up everything, im totally tired. VERY TIRED.

best evidence to show u how tired i am :

I give u gong gong look. =)

okies, back for projects..